Marriage // Questions // Answers

I will write this once because I am stubborn and passionate. I'll write this once because the answers are demanded and I must reply.

Why do you want to get married?

I suppose saying I'm in love is not enough. I suppose saying that I choose to spend my life with him because he is exactly what I need is not sufficient. He is not only what I want, but he is what I need. He fulfills my needs in that he is about to graduate and already has a job lined up. He can cook. He knows how to deal with me when I am being difficult. He is patient with me. He is a strong Christian who loves God and loves his church. He is actively involved in the youth group leadership at his church and he is the worship leader. We encourage each other spiritually and pray together every night. He is exactly what I want, too. He makes me laugh and knows how to have fun with me. He woos me and pursues me. He is fervently interested in bettering himself. I love him and that is enough of a reason.

Why marriage? Why now?

So saying I love him is only saying that I choose daily to put him and his needs above myself and my needs. Being a wife is being subservient to him and serving him in every way possible. It is supporting him and encouraging him emotionally, spiritually, and any other way I can. I know that I still have two years of college, but he is about to graduate and I have known he is the man I am going to marry since April. We are both going into this with prayerful consideration. An engagement now would mean a marriage as soon as we can. I want this. I want a short engagement. I want to be one with him.  Marriage is hard, but getting married at twenty-one does not make it any easier than nineteen. Marriage is hard no matter what. Why would I wait two years to marry a man I know I want to marry now? Why would I wait two years to marry the man I know I'm going to marry? Why put off the inevitable? Why make our future wait?

Do you just want to have sex? Can't you just have sex instead of getting married?

No. Sex is an important part of marriage and I recognize that, however, I would not say I was in love if lust was the driving force in our relationship. We treat sex so lightly and part of that is the blame of our parents and churches whose sex education taught abstinence, but never touched on the beauty and importance of sex. We slut-shamed then taught a lesson of love. I understand the emotional, spiritual, and physical importance of sex more than most people my age. Biblically, Paul tells us that if we are overcome with lustful passion that we should get married rather than live in sin. Emotionally, sex creates a bond due to the hormonal releases that create certain synapses within our brain that create permanent emotional connections between that person and you. Physically, it is the joining of two bodies. Our private parts really are the most sacred parts of our bodies and we are in a way exposing our soul to another person. Plus, it is trusting them because it is risking sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. You are wholly trusting someone. So, no, I'm not just going to give into primal desires in order to postpone a marriage.