Purity // Virginity // Marriage
I've been wrestling with the idea of purity in my head for quite sometime now because in a society where purity and virginity are virtually synonymous, it leaves a lot of Christians disillusioned with the idea of sex and what it is at its core. I'm not saying that it is necessarily the fault of anyone in particular, but it is however, distorted in the eyes of young Christians everywhere. Throughout the decades (since sex became appropriate conversation) thousands of books on the theology of sex and the theology of the body have come out all saying the same thing: sex is good.
How then, did we get to this point where sex is a guilty pleasure? How did we get to a point where sex can be casual? How did we get to the point where casual hook-ups, one night stands, friends with benefits, and raunchy conversation are accepted in everyday life? How did we get to the point where young virgin brides on their wedding night feel awkward approaching their lover? Where did this distorted view of sex come from?
The mingling of souls. Intimacy. The act of marriage.
The deed. Doing it. Popping her cherry.
How can such drastically different descriptors be describing the same action?
Virginity. Purity. These two seemingly interchangeable words are the key to this guilt and pleasure, casual and intimate dichotomy that is occurring within the minds of young, Christian adults. So quick are we to say that people have lost their virtue or lost their purity when we mean that they lost their virginity. So quick are we to deem them broken, lesser, impure. Why is it that we have lost the clear difference between these two words?
Virginity: the physical state of a person who has never had sexual intercourse.
Virginity is simply a physical state. It does not have any power over the condition of someone's soul. One may be an incredibly wretched sinner and still have their virginity. One may not have their virginity and still be pursuing a life of purity. Virginity does not describes someone's spiritual state nor does it describe the way in which they sexually interact outside of the actual act of sexual intercourse. There is a book, Technical Virgin, that describes the dichotomy of remaining pure before marriage and saving virginity for marriage. What then is that difference?
Purity: cleanliness, free from contaminants, freedom from guilt or evil.
Purity is a spiritual state that we are striving towards as Paul instructs Timothy, to be an example in purity. Purification is the process that all Christians are undergoing as they become more Christ-like. Purity is being without blemish. Purity is a description of someone's spiritual state, and is not contingent on one action, but is the culmination of all of one's thoughts and actions as a general trend.
Sex is a good thing intended for husband and wife. I've heard it said that people lose their purity before they lose their virginity, but the way I see it, we don't have purity. Purity is something we strive for, but no one is perfect. No one is flawless; no one is pure. Purity is something that we can pursue and sometimes we stop pursuing or momentarily pause pursuing purity, but we don't achieve purity. We are stuck in the muck of life and if one thing isn't dirtying our shoes something else is making our hands filthy.
Sometimes my impurities feel like that grit on my teeth after eating a whole package of pixie sticks that just needs to be brushed off. Other times the impurities are a deep grime that I can't seem to scrub off. It's not about cleaning myself up, it's about seeking a more perfect form. Seeking to be Christ-like is what purity is. The state of my virginity: when I lost it, how I lost it, and who I lost it to does not impact my purity.
I am not a virgin, but I will seek purity constantly.
How then, did we get to this point where sex is a guilty pleasure? How did we get to a point where sex can be casual? How did we get to the point where casual hook-ups, one night stands, friends with benefits, and raunchy conversation are accepted in everyday life? How did we get to the point where young virgin brides on their wedding night feel awkward approaching their lover? Where did this distorted view of sex come from?
The mingling of souls. Intimacy. The act of marriage.
The deed. Doing it. Popping her cherry.
How can such drastically different descriptors be describing the same action?
Virginity. Purity. These two seemingly interchangeable words are the key to this guilt and pleasure, casual and intimate dichotomy that is occurring within the minds of young, Christian adults. So quick are we to say that people have lost their virtue or lost their purity when we mean that they lost their virginity. So quick are we to deem them broken, lesser, impure. Why is it that we have lost the clear difference between these two words?
Virginity: the physical state of a person who has never had sexual intercourse.
Virginity is simply a physical state. It does not have any power over the condition of someone's soul. One may be an incredibly wretched sinner and still have their virginity. One may not have their virginity and still be pursuing a life of purity. Virginity does not describes someone's spiritual state nor does it describe the way in which they sexually interact outside of the actual act of sexual intercourse. There is a book, Technical Virgin, that describes the dichotomy of remaining pure before marriage and saving virginity for marriage. What then is that difference?
Purity: cleanliness, free from contaminants, freedom from guilt or evil.
Purity is a spiritual state that we are striving towards as Paul instructs Timothy, to be an example in purity. Purification is the process that all Christians are undergoing as they become more Christ-like. Purity is being without blemish. Purity is a description of someone's spiritual state, and is not contingent on one action, but is the culmination of all of one's thoughts and actions as a general trend.
Sex is a good thing intended for husband and wife. I've heard it said that people lose their purity before they lose their virginity, but the way I see it, we don't have purity. Purity is something we strive for, but no one is perfect. No one is flawless; no one is pure. Purity is something that we can pursue and sometimes we stop pursuing or momentarily pause pursuing purity, but we don't achieve purity. We are stuck in the muck of life and if one thing isn't dirtying our shoes something else is making our hands filthy.
Sometimes my impurities feel like that grit on my teeth after eating a whole package of pixie sticks that just needs to be brushed off. Other times the impurities are a deep grime that I can't seem to scrub off. It's not about cleaning myself up, it's about seeking a more perfect form. Seeking to be Christ-like is what purity is. The state of my virginity: when I lost it, how I lost it, and who I lost it to does not impact my purity.
I am not a virgin, but I will seek purity constantly.
Comments
Post a Comment