New Year // Word // Calm
Last year, my word for the year was joy. I chose joy in a lot of circumstances that I could have easily chosen something else. I faced a lot of changes last year. It's been a growing year, to say the least. I've learned to be flexible with the unscheduled and content in disappointment. The dismal moments that brought me into the past year were the same circumstances that brought me the most joy. Last year distilled into one word would be joy. Everything changed in a few months and I was woefully unprepared for the sheer amount of change that occurred. In spite of my desire to keep things as close to as they were as before, I found the tighter I clung to the glorification of my past, the less like the past my future became. My proclivity to adjust was untimely as I would adjust after the moment where the adjustment was need had passed. Through all the changes, came insurmountable joy. Though I did not have control over the changes, I had control over my reaction and I chose joy.
This year, my word for the year is calm.
I face a lot of desire to go. To be over-involved and over-reactive. This year I am choosing calm because I am not in control of the situations of my life. I am not in control of the storms around me, but I can choose to have internal calm. I can choose Jesus to calm my storms.
I think of that story where the disciples are on a boat and the storm comes and everything goes into an uproar. They become gripped with fear of the unknown instead of trusting in Jesus. We see that Jesus is sleeping. They wake him up and he brings calm. I want for my response to every storm to be seeking Jesus and the calm he brings. Even when the waves of life feel like they will overcome me, I will choose calm.
I have a recurring nightmare of drowning in a tsunami. It's terrifying and hectic, but at the end of my dream when the wave crashes overhead, I feel calm. Not because it's over, but because I gave up trying to control the circumstance and trying to run from the tsunami. I stopped and I sought Jesus. I sought His calm.
His calm is restorative. In the moments when my four month old is crying and my husband isn't home. When I am exhausted and stressed about returning to school and leaving my baby (even if only for a few minutes), I remember Jesus and the calm he brings. When I am up at four in the morning because I can't sleep, I pray to Jesus. This year, I will seek Him in my storms. This year, I will choose calm.
This year, my word for the year is calm.
I face a lot of desire to go. To be over-involved and over-reactive. This year I am choosing calm because I am not in control of the situations of my life. I am not in control of the storms around me, but I can choose to have internal calm. I can choose Jesus to calm my storms.
I think of that story where the disciples are on a boat and the storm comes and everything goes into an uproar. They become gripped with fear of the unknown instead of trusting in Jesus. We see that Jesus is sleeping. They wake him up and he brings calm. I want for my response to every storm to be seeking Jesus and the calm he brings. Even when the waves of life feel like they will overcome me, I will choose calm.
I have a recurring nightmare of drowning in a tsunami. It's terrifying and hectic, but at the end of my dream when the wave crashes overhead, I feel calm. Not because it's over, but because I gave up trying to control the circumstance and trying to run from the tsunami. I stopped and I sought Jesus. I sought His calm.
His calm is restorative. In the moments when my four month old is crying and my husband isn't home. When I am exhausted and stressed about returning to school and leaving my baby (even if only for a few minutes), I remember Jesus and the calm he brings. When I am up at four in the morning because I can't sleep, I pray to Jesus. This year, I will seek Him in my storms. This year, I will choose calm.
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