Babies // Parenting // Choices

While we were in the hospital, we fed our baby formula. 

Before he was born, we decided not to circumcise. 

After he was born, we decided to wait a full six-months before introducing solids.

I stand behind the choices that we made both before and after he was born.

As a parent, it is my responsibility to look after the well-being of my child. As much as everyone else contributes their opinions of what optimal parenting is, the ultimate decision rests with my husband and I. We are responsible for our child. I appreciate all of the advice we receive because it helps us to better understand the options. I carefully research all kinds of parenting choices because I know that in order to be the best parent I can be, I have to make informed decisions that are beneficial to my baby.

Guardian. 

As parents, we are in charge of guarding our children from anything and everything. From the moment our child is conceived until they become responsible for themselves, they are our charge. It is a privilege to parent. The opportunity to affect to life and mind of a little one is the greatest honor I can imagine. In raising a child, we are shaping the future and creating a legacy. We live on through our children. The greatest reflection of who we are is who our children become. 

I've seen a lot of articles and blogs about "mommy wars". It's all ridiculous. Every parent made a choice to parent. I'm not talking about the choice to abort or not abort because in my mind, that should not be an option; that "choice" is about putting our need before theirs, and it does not guard them as we are charged to do. I am talking about the choices to parent. The choice to make or adopt a child and the choice to be an active participant in the rearing of the child. Every parent made those choices. We do not control conception, God does, but we are in charge of our choices and our actions. In making the choice to parent, we are given the responsibility to care for and protect a tiny human being who will one day grow into a full-sized human being.

From the moment our babies are conceived, we have a responsibility to protect them. This responsibility is a selfless endeavour of putting the needs of the tiny human before our own. No drinking. No sushi. No deli meats. No smoking. The list goes on of should nots and could nots. Some of the advice is sound medical advice and some is opinion. At the heart of all of the advice is the safety and well-being of the child. Weather that is reflected in eating probiotic yogurt during pregnancy because it's supposed to reduce allergies or drinking Coke because it's the only thing that your body keeps down, it is all with the concern for the safety and well-being of the child.

I was planning on breastfeeding. I always have planned on breastfeeding, but twenty-four hours after he was born, he still hadn't had a wet diaper, so we gave him formula. I had people tell me that he was going to get nipple confusion and never drink my milk again. I was fully prepared to give up breastfeeding if it meant that our baby was healthy. If it meant that our baby was producing we diapers and growing and thriving. We were blessed that he had three wet diapers that day and breastfeeds to this day. In that moment, though I am a breastfeeding advocate through and through, we made the decision for the safety and well-being of our child. A formula-fed baby who is growing and producing diapers is better than a dehydrated breastfed baby. A baby whose mother drank Coke and ate Coco Puffs her entire pregnancy is better than a mother who doesn't eat anything during her pregnancy because she refuses to break the advice. 

We need to stop shaming others for their choices because we think they could have made a choice that was better for their child. The health benefits of choice X over choice Y are great, but not everyone has the luxury to make those choices. So long as the children are being cared for, looked after, and fed; it is not our place to judge how others raise their children. It's just milk. They say "don't cry over spilled milk," but the outcry over milk being fed to babies is so much worse. Why are we shaming mothers for making the hard choices for the well-being of their child? 

We shame single mothers when they made to hard choice to have and raise a baby on their own. We shame mothers who formula feed when they could have made the hard choice to give up breastfeeding because their baby wasn't getting enough, or they had to go back to work and couldn't afford to pump. We shame mothers who use co-sleep when we don't know why they do ( I co-slept with my parents because my cousin dies and my parents didn't want me sleeping in another room). 

As parents we make hard choices and second-guess ourselves out of concern for the safety and well-being of our children. We don't need others second guessing the choices we make as parents. We need support. We need love. We need to figure out this whole parenting thing for ourselves free from the judgement of other parents or worse, people who aren't parents. 

Go ahead and formula fee that baby, but please just feed your baby. Go ahead and co-sleep, but please just let your baby sleep. Go ahead and introduce solids and four months, but please just let your baby grow. Go ahead and use cloth diapers, but please just change your baby. Go ahead and don't circumcise your child, but please just care for them. Go ahead and sleep train your child at nine months, but please just love them. Go ahead and potty train your child at two and a half years, but please just watch our for your child. Love them and watch them grow. Care for them. Be their guardian and make the hard choices because you're the only one who is responsible for them. You are their guardian, guard them.