Decades // Adulthood // Formation
As I broach the new decade, I do so in a different manner than most my age. Twenty is the decade of motherhood for me. Twenty is the first decade of my marriage. Twenty is nothing like I imagined I would feel when I imagined back all those years ago. While most look forward to the mere 365 days between them and their first legal sip of alcohol, I think of the little one who who will still be sipping it's meals from me. Twenty is bittersweet in a farewell to innocence and childhood kind of way. Although I have already grown in so many ways, my teenage years have slipped away from me quietly and the excuse of childish naivete no longer has the same ring because I am not longer just a dumb teenager, but a young adult broaching the unknown frontier of a new decade.
Most new twenty year olds greet the new decade with exultation of freedom. Suddenly they have more respect and freedom. At twenty, most have few responsibilities and a lot of mistakes ahead of them. They look forward to long nights filled with booze and movies. They look forward to gorging for the last few years before their metabolism slows down and six-packs become beer guts.
I suppose in the societal expectation, I am doing it wrong. I married my first boyfriend. I got married as a teenager. I suppose in the traditional way, I'm not following the rules either. I wouldn't, however, consider myself a trailblazer. The paths set before are simply not the paths which I deemed worth following. I do not want to be the uptight traditionalist who never lets her hair down to party. I do not want to be that wild party girl who throws caution to the wind and always follows her dreams at the cost of her daddy's credit cards or the hearts of all boys in her path. I am not a wild spirit, but a rebel. I am not a rule follower, but I am a traditionalist.
I am like most people my age, choosing the path to follow and making choices that will change my life. I am developing who I am and the role I will play in the world around me and the world as whole. I am deciding the legacy I will live and the paths I will follow. I am deciding the people who are good influences and the people who are bad. I am determining what kind of adult I want to be. I am deciding the type of parent I want to be. I am choosing what sort of wife I want to be.
These are the formative years. These are the years that will cause sunspots, wrinkles, cancer, and grey hairs when we approach middle age. These are the years that determine the characteristics we will carry on from childhood into adulthood. These are the years that we choose what was just a phase and what is integral to who we are a humans. These are the years we change our black and white morality into shades of grey. These are the years that will shape how we see the world and how we see people. These are the years that will create or destroy lifelong friendships. These are the years and we are the generation that will change the world.
Most new twenty year olds greet the new decade with exultation of freedom. Suddenly they have more respect and freedom. At twenty, most have few responsibilities and a lot of mistakes ahead of them. They look forward to long nights filled with booze and movies. They look forward to gorging for the last few years before their metabolism slows down and six-packs become beer guts.
I suppose in the societal expectation, I am doing it wrong. I married my first boyfriend. I got married as a teenager. I suppose in the traditional way, I'm not following the rules either. I wouldn't, however, consider myself a trailblazer. The paths set before are simply not the paths which I deemed worth following. I do not want to be the uptight traditionalist who never lets her hair down to party. I do not want to be that wild party girl who throws caution to the wind and always follows her dreams at the cost of her daddy's credit cards or the hearts of all boys in her path. I am not a wild spirit, but a rebel. I am not a rule follower, but I am a traditionalist.
I am like most people my age, choosing the path to follow and making choices that will change my life. I am developing who I am and the role I will play in the world around me and the world as whole. I am deciding the legacy I will live and the paths I will follow. I am deciding the people who are good influences and the people who are bad. I am determining what kind of adult I want to be. I am deciding the type of parent I want to be. I am choosing what sort of wife I want to be.
These are the formative years. These are the years that will cause sunspots, wrinkles, cancer, and grey hairs when we approach middle age. These are the years that determine the characteristics we will carry on from childhood into adulthood. These are the years that we choose what was just a phase and what is integral to who we are a humans. These are the years we change our black and white morality into shades of grey. These are the years that will shape how we see the world and how we see people. These are the years that will create or destroy lifelong friendships. These are the years and we are the generation that will change the world.
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